Understanding Prosperity

I've often heard people use the phrase "dirt poor" I laugh every time. Very few people actually know what that means. Its been a long time since the people of the United States have had dirt floors. The closest thing even relatable for many is a crummy apartment building.

All of our perspectives are skewed by our experience. To some, being wealthy means having a home or going to college. To others it may be that next piece of property or a large investment paying off. But because our perspectives are skewed we tend to judge other's based off of what they do or don't have. We judge ourselves the same way. Whether its an attempt to define ourselves, prove ourselves, or just the desire to succeed... we tend to forget the point.

I was just sitting here drinking a cup of coffee doing a little reading and working on a project for my church. Not because I had to, but because it was enjoyable. It literally gives me joy. And not just a little bit of joy either. I mean there are few things in this world I enjoy more. Just sitting here in peace, working, thinking, drinking coffee. Its a truly intimate time for me. Its a time I like to pray, and discuss with God whats going on in my life, where I'm at. Suddenly it had occurred to me what Paul was talking about when he said in Philippians 4:12:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

I was like. HEY! Things aren't that bad, why am I always so worried about the struggle! Isn't the end all be all to be sitting here, with a cup of coffee, working on something with God? Isn't that the goal? To be sitting with Him, drinking coffee, going over the day. Planing our next move? Man, what have I been missing?

I understand WHY I think the way I do, I grew up dirt poor. I know what its like not to have. I know what its like to struggle. To be alone. To be destitute. I know what its like to feel totally useless. Those experiences drive me to work harder and at the same time drive me towards hopelessness, towards apathy. The knowing damages my perspective and causes me to idolize an idea of prosperity that doesn't even make since. It causes me to throw out any idea that doesn't fit into my perspective. Whats more, is that I know it, I understand it, I am vigilant against it, and yet I succumb to it. I succumb to how I view those with wealth and those without wealth. I succumb to how I view men's hearts. To what they'd do with it. The knowing doesn't help.

Get this. Knowing doesn't change it. It took a moment with God to even really understand it. Prosperity isn't about the wealth or the lack of it. Its not about even "being content with what you have" its about being content with the PROCESS. Is about letting it happen and just sitting down brewing another cup of coffee, putting your hands to something and saying, whats the next move God? Prosper me.

So that is what I'm going to do.

Why should I waste my time "serving" the "church"?

I've spent countless hours serving my church. I've done things I've hated. I've done things I've loved. I've worked with people who've gotten on my nerves. I've gotten on the nerves of everyone I've worked with. I've completed task I found completely pointless, some of which were incredibly taxing. I've missed birthday parties, graduations, weddings, and funerals because I put a service before them. I've lost friends and gained friends. More than once I've asked the question: "What am I doing here? Why am I wasting my time?" Usually the question rises out of frustration or out of self-righteous indignation. Each time, I remind myself of the three core reasons I do what I do.

Reason one why I waste of time serving: I'm so freaking good at it. I volunteer in our tech department, something I'm really really good at. Not because I know something that other people don't. Because I know how to figure things out. I like to troubleshoot. I love it when a computer fails or a feed glitches out. Computer crashes? Lights failing? Awesome. Thats what I'm good at. I've always excelled at finding patterns, breaking down equations and solving problems. I eat sleep and breath it. Whenever we get new volunteers at church I always try and find out what their good at. When you find out what you're good at you begin to find a passion for it... which leads me to my second reason for wasting my time.

Reason dos why I waste my time serving: I freaking love it. I adore it. Nothing lights a fire in my bones like seeing a service go off without a hitch. There is nothing like seeing a video project you've spent months working on turn out amazing and hear about how it effected lives. If we're not effecting lives, everything we do inside the four walls is utterly pointless. So I'm fiercely passionate about our media. It turns some people off. I offend people way too often. But I'm a little ok with that. My passion with either inspire others around me or weed out the people who aren't really passionate. I woke with some of the most passionate people I've ever met and when we get in a room together to hash out a project, you better believe sparks fly. I couldn't tell you how many times I've argued about something just because I didn't like the color of it, or the way it sounded coming off my tongue or even the way it felt in my hands. It's gotta be perfect. It has to be excellent and only the very best. What we do, we do in the name of Christ an it should represent him in every way. It should be done with care and with purpose. With passion! And that brings me to my third point.

The primary reason why I willing waste my time, energy and life "serving" the "church" is God. I do it because it's what He would do. He has imbued in each of us characteristics and passions that reflect His glory and goodness. I don't do it because Ill feel better at night "doing my good deed" for the Lord. I do it because He made me to do it. Because I take joy in it. I do it because that's the character He wants to develop in me. Someone who isn't afraid to just serve. To just work. He gave me the passion and the ability. What else do I eat sleep and breath for if not to fulfill His purpose for my life? There isn't anything on God's green earth I would sacrifice to see someone else get a hold of that. This world might be full of entertainment and "happiness" you might find some fun in your money or your job or your spouse but you won't find any joy. That is an antidote for this world that flows straight from the veins of Christ. When you connect into His arm like an IV you get filled up with most complete joy you could ever ask for.

There are a lot of people who either don't understand or don't want to understand why I waste my time "serving" the "church". I doubt reading this will change their minds much. You don't understand God by reading about Him or preaching about Him. You learn about Him down in the trenches, where He is. Fighting to reach every single person on earth. You experience Him holding the hands of His broken people and loving them back to life. Sometimes that means Getting up on a stage and teaching His message. Sometimes it means scrubbing the toilets till they shine just right. Most of the time it takes a lot of energy. No matter what you do, it requires servitude.

Pay & Position

Recently I've taken a step back from most of my duties in ministry. I've volunteered for three and a half years in our media department at our church without pay or position. Neither of those things have ever really been something I wanted. Money is a means to an end, not something I really want but in the long run something I need. Position has never been a thing to concern me in the kingdom of God because God calls each of us to different roles and places in ministry and I'm not concerned with which is better. However it was these two reasons that demanded that I take a step back.

pay

While I was volunteering full-time at my church I also started a business with a friend of mine. We built and marketed websites. At first, it went pretty well. We got a few solid contracts and within a few months I was making a decent wage. However, balancing two full time jobs at once isn't really an easy thing to do. In both ministry and in my workplace I dropped the ball several times. I just wasn't capable of doing both at the same time. I'm not sure why. It probably had something to do with bad time management or just a lack of capacity to complete that much work under deadlines.

My inability to juggle both jobs really frustrated me. I was angry because BOTH were required of me and I was really only capable of doing ONE of them well at the same time. I have a very one tracked mind and it does not switch easily so moving from task to task was and is very difficult for me.

My work eventually took me to Israel. Where I had a once in a life experience being able to share meals and homes with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. It was like I was both observing and documenting an important event in my own life and at the same time, experiencing and being impacted by it. However, my attitude had become quite negative before leaving. I was so frustrated by my inability to complete tasks and to live up to the expectations put on me that I began to blame the situation I was in. Somehow, my attitude had become defeated.

So when I got back from Israel, I really began to search my own heart. When my finances began to decline and I couldn't find a way to improve them I decided to take a break from my ministry duties in order to try and improve my finances.

position

I never intended to hold a position in my church, my goal has been and always will be to do that which God called me to do in this season of my life, until he says otherwise. That is to server His church and His people. Its weird, despite never wanting a position as I server God I was raised up in the eyes of my peers and my leaders and those that I lead. I never intended to lead anything. I only wanted to server God and do as much as I could for His kingdom with whatever skills I had at my disposal. It wasn't until others spoke positions or leadership over my life that I actually desired it. Don't get me wrong. I love leading people. I love every aspect of leadership, and its that love for leadership that has always made me leering to lead. My greatest fear in ministry is my pride. I never want to feel entitled to a position or to role. Because I'm not. I never want to become so arrogant and proud that I can't hear someone's voice.

So when people began to push me to take a position in my church or to act as if I had one, I did. I took on all the responsibilities that came with it. I worked hard. I poured my heart and soul into my team, into my church, into my work. However, when it became evident that I would actually acquire a position I became very discouraged. Even more so when it became increasingly more apparent that the more I tried to fulfill that responsibility the more that some resented me for and the more that I began to realize that I had all of the responsibilities of a position without the authority to execute them. I was frustrated. No matter how hard I tried and no matter how basic or difficult the task I undertook, it never felt like a win once it was accomplished.

So, I reluctantly had to take a step back and evaluate what I was doing and why.

understanding

Now that I've had time to evaluate things I think I've began to really nail down my own personal shortcomings.

I desperately desire to work hard. Its a huge thing for me. If I'm not pushing myself to the breaking point I don't feel like I've worked. I want to know at the end of the day that I laid everything on the table. I have decided to take a stand on this and to really pray each day for ways to push myself and to accomplish more.

I can not server the church at a cost to my personal development. I need to continually be growing and learning and desiring more. In every area of my life.

If I work hard enough and faithfully enough, money will never be the problem.

I server for development, nothing else.

Most importantly. I have been called to a community of people. Not to a  position or to place. But to a people.

As I move into a new season of my life, I can't help but squirm with anticipation of whats to come. Growing up and getting older as a Christian is such an amazing experience because each new year comes with new ways to grow and new experiences with Christ.

Father, I pray will my full heart that you keep and kindle the fire that you set in my heart. That you keep my mind and my perspective on the positive. That you give me the patients and the diligence to battle my thought process and my negative habits. Teach me to be humble, to be loving and to be kind to everyone I encounter. And above else, teach me to be a son.

I'm offended at my Pastor.

I starting interning with my Youth Pastor Seth Trenda back in 2010. Just out of high school, barley knew
Christ. I was a too-smart-for-my-own-good-hungry-like-a-beast-christian. From day one I started to get involved with out media department. I did everything with excitement and with a desire to do it for God. I remember spending sleepless nights with some of my favorite people on the planet. Jordan Shaw and Sean Gleason. It was SO easy for me to follow. So easy for me to do what I was told and work hard to complete a task knowing that I did not have to come up with a strategy or a method to accomplish a ask but I trusted my Pastor knowing he had a plan to help bring youth to Christ. It was easy.

As time went on it wasn't long before I starting raising up as a leader among my peers. Suddenly things got HARD. Suddenly there were expectations of me. Suddenly I couldn't just goof off and let my Pastor handle everything.

Projects would be put in my hands to get done and I was expected to do them. Without help. Without a step by step instruction manual to get it done. I had to work harder than I had initially thought this whole church thing was. When things went wrong, it was my fault. I was in charge of the project. If people didn't get called or someone didn't show up. It was my problem. Worse than that, there was 0 appreciation for what I did. If something went awesome, no one noticed. If I helped put a service together and it went off without a hitch... no one said a word to me.

As time passed it only got worse. More and more expectations were placed on me. I couldn't date. I couldn't hang out with girls by myself. I couldn't drink. I couldn't say what I wanted to say on facebook. I couldn't argue. I couldn't get angry. I was restricted. Had to show up to every service. Had to say the right things. Had to read my bible. I had to be an example.

However what was worse than anything was getting to know my Pastor. He wasn't perfect. He wasn't the all-knowing-holy-man-with-huge-biceps that I put on the pedestal in my head. He got angry. He had unfair expectations of some people. He made mistakes. He blamed me for things I didn't do. Didn't appreciate me. He had favorites. He didn't have the answer for my problems. I didn't like his advise. I didn't like his ideas. I hated his sense of humor. For a while... I hated him.

I remember distinctly a period in my life where I just wanted to quit church. I didn't like my youth pastor. He turned out to be just like everyone else. A person. There wasn't anything special about him. There wasn't anything special about what I was doing. No one cared about what I did. It would be way too easy to just go out and do what I wanted. Date the girls I was interested in. Say the things I wanted to say. Be the person I wanted to be.

Then one dark September day our youth lost a really important young man. Gabriel Washuburn. I didn't really know the guy. I knew of him. He at one time was a prodigy in our youth department. I didn't know him. But my Pastor did. I remember driving to the hospital with Jordan Shaw... I remember all the tears... I remember seeing my entire church morn. Most of all I remember what Jordan told me he witnessed in the bedroom of my youth Pastors home. On his knees. Tears in his eyes. Heart BROKEN. My Pastor. Praying. Worshiping. Crying out to Christ.

Then it clicked. He loves us. Every face. Every young person who steps in our church. He loves them. He'd die for them. He has given up his whole life for them. Every time we screw up. It hurts him. Every time we do the wrong thing he hates it! Every time he put expectations on me it was because HE SAW something in me I DIDN'T. All these expectations on me were about leadership. Expectations he put on himself. You see I finally realized something one day. I was offended at my Youth Pastor. For being human. He demanded I shoot for something I would never reach for on my own and I resented him for it. He wanted me to succeed and fought against every thought and every attitude in my life that stood in the way of that success.

More than that I discovered something about leadership later on that year when I started working with a young man named Wright Miller. You see I need Wright. He does something special on our church. The same thing that I once did and still do for my Pastor. Wright Miller has placed himself next to me under the weight of ministry and put his back into lifting just a little bit off my shoulders. Something my Pastor has always needed. Something I have made my mission here at Faith Center Church. I aim to lift the pressure off.

Now days I love my Pastor's sense of humor. I love his attitude. I think what hes doing in Clark county is phenomenal. I ain't offended at him anymore. I thank God every day for putting a man like him in my life.

The importance of a planted tree...

While I was in Israel I had the privilege of speaking to and amazing Jewish man named Ariel. He was a brilliant gentleman who took me around and showed me some of the historical landmarks in Tel Aviv. After we took our little tour I remember standing next to him by the old train station watching some of our  party talking under a great big tree. He leaned over to me and said the most profound thing. He told me that the tree they were underneath had massive roots to hold up its weight. Twice as deep as the tree was tall. Something broke loose in my spirit as I came to a realization: my whole life I've been measure by what is seen above ground. Its easy to look at my life and sum it up by the little that is seen. In fact there are many individuals who I know, who I work with that could easily be measured in such a way... even Ariel, who did not seem like much on the surface but just a few moments with him made me see exactly how deep those roots go. Men like him, like my pastors who's roots run deep... they support a lot of weight. They carry our generation on their backs.

It makes me sad to think of these because I also see people who seem larger than life... who think they have everything so figured out and then one day the wind blows just a little too hard and the roots snap and the world sees just how shallow those roots were. I wish my generation could get to the understand that there is nothing wrong with growing deep. That there is more to life than just growing up. There is more to life than your job and your spouse and your own little world. That when a small tree is cut down, if the roots hold steady... it will grow again.

"The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the Lord,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
15 proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

[Psalm 92:12-15]


I want that out youth would take this scripture and run with it. To plant themselves in the Lord's house. To grow and focus on an inward man and stop worrying about the outward. Hes dead anyway.