Why Serve?

A lot has changed in the last couple years. I stepped out of ministry and got a normal job as a Machinist. Then I did something some people have been confused by, I joined the Washington National Guard. Since then I've had a lot of people ask me "why". To most people it probably seemed like it came out of left field. I've worn a suit and tie so long most people who know me don't know where I come from. That's intentional.

I've always liked to see how people perceive me without volunteering much background. I like to surprise people, to take them off guard. You get a raw and uncompromising understanding of their values, of their opinions. I hate when people cater their speech or their opinions based off of how they think I think. I find it dishonest, which is funny. Because I do the same thing. Perhaps that's why I allow the misconception. I digress...

The truth is, I've always wanted to join the military. Since I was five years old. I remember staring at the wall in our living room where my father hung the old photographs of himself and my grand father in uniform. I didn't much understand what that uniform meant but I did understand the respect it demanded. Not for the men wearing it, but the cost it signified. Buried under the foul mouths and the disreputable facade of a soldier has always and will always bear with it a deep sacrifice and unassailable honor.

It's unpopular today to "hero worship" soldiers. We have steadily suffocated the once proud warrior culture that our ancestors painstakingly cultivated for centuries. Intentionally. Deliberately. Warriors produce war. War kills. We've had enough of death. After World War II, Korea and Vietnam, it became unpopular to encourage warriors. I don't think there was malice towards the individuals. It was the Hell that followed them. Maybe this conversation is too much for the short paragraphs I've laid out here but its important to understand where I'm coming from. I didn't join the military because I want to go to war. I didn't join the military because I want to kill. I didn't join the military because I want to die. I joined because I have understood instinctively since the day I saw my father disarm a man with a pistol pointed at his head, that the only want to stop war is for good men to become experts in violence.

The truth is, I've always believed I was able and willing to endure things others either could or would not. Until this last year I've had good reason to refrain from signing that dotted line. However, it has been a weight I have carried the entirety of those last ten years. I carried it because I submitted my life to God, fully. I leaned in and asked Him to remake me into something new, and when the rot had been chipped away and new life began to root itself in my heart, I slowly felt a release.

If I'm being honest I felt like a racehorse waiting for the gate to drop. Now that it has, it's been tough. I've had to run harder than I thought I would and I'm only just starting out but it feels natural. Like breathing. To my great surprise my body and my mind have adjusted for the strain. Yes, I've been humbled by my weakness. I'm not the fastest or the strongest horse in the race, and I might be a little older too. But I'm eager and I'm hopeful. This is just another segment in a long run leading me back home. I hope that as I go I am able to measure up to something close to what those who have gone before me.

In the meantime I am honored to (temporarily) wear the same patch my father wore in Korea.

Why should I waste my time "serving" the "church"?

I've spent countless hours serving my church. I've done things I've hated. I've done things I've loved. I've worked with people who've gotten on my nerves. I've gotten on the nerves of everyone I've worked with. I've completed task I found completely pointless, some of which were incredibly taxing. I've missed birthday parties, graduations, weddings, and funerals because I put a service before them. I've lost friends and gained friends. More than once I've asked the question: "What am I doing here? Why am I wasting my time?" Usually the question rises out of frustration or out of self-righteous indignation. Each time, I remind myself of the three core reasons I do what I do.

Reason one why I waste of time serving: I'm so freaking good at it. I volunteer in our tech department, something I'm really really good at. Not because I know something that other people don't. Because I know how to figure things out. I like to troubleshoot. I love it when a computer fails or a feed glitches out. Computer crashes? Lights failing? Awesome. Thats what I'm good at. I've always excelled at finding patterns, breaking down equations and solving problems. I eat sleep and breath it. Whenever we get new volunteers at church I always try and find out what their good at. When you find out what you're good at you begin to find a passion for it... which leads me to my second reason for wasting my time.

Reason dos why I waste my time serving: I freaking love it. I adore it. Nothing lights a fire in my bones like seeing a service go off without a hitch. There is nothing like seeing a video project you've spent months working on turn out amazing and hear about how it effected lives. If we're not effecting lives, everything we do inside the four walls is utterly pointless. So I'm fiercely passionate about our media. It turns some people off. I offend people way too often. But I'm a little ok with that. My passion with either inspire others around me or weed out the people who aren't really passionate. I woke with some of the most passionate people I've ever met and when we get in a room together to hash out a project, you better believe sparks fly. I couldn't tell you how many times I've argued about something just because I didn't like the color of it, or the way it sounded coming off my tongue or even the way it felt in my hands. It's gotta be perfect. It has to be excellent and only the very best. What we do, we do in the name of Christ an it should represent him in every way. It should be done with care and with purpose. With passion! And that brings me to my third point.

The primary reason why I willing waste my time, energy and life "serving" the "church" is God. I do it because it's what He would do. He has imbued in each of us characteristics and passions that reflect His glory and goodness. I don't do it because Ill feel better at night "doing my good deed" for the Lord. I do it because He made me to do it. Because I take joy in it. I do it because that's the character He wants to develop in me. Someone who isn't afraid to just serve. To just work. He gave me the passion and the ability. What else do I eat sleep and breath for if not to fulfill His purpose for my life? There isn't anything on God's green earth I would sacrifice to see someone else get a hold of that. This world might be full of entertainment and "happiness" you might find some fun in your money or your job or your spouse but you won't find any joy. That is an antidote for this world that flows straight from the veins of Christ. When you connect into His arm like an IV you get filled up with most complete joy you could ever ask for.

There are a lot of people who either don't understand or don't want to understand why I waste my time "serving" the "church". I doubt reading this will change their minds much. You don't understand God by reading about Him or preaching about Him. You learn about Him down in the trenches, where He is. Fighting to reach every single person on earth. You experience Him holding the hands of His broken people and loving them back to life. Sometimes that means Getting up on a stage and teaching His message. Sometimes it means scrubbing the toilets till they shine just right. Most of the time it takes a lot of energy. No matter what you do, it requires servitude.