The trouble with comparison

Comparison is a weapon of the Enemy. As much as we like to tell ourselves and others that it helps us to judge "where someone is at" it really doesn't and I'll give you two good reasons why.

Firstly, the problem of our past. People come from different places, they learn different things and they grow in different ways. Whenever we put two people of different past up against each other and measure them not matter what we do, one of those people will out measure the other. Our pasts are unique and they all carry their own misfortune and good fortune. Some more of the former than the latter, and vice versa.

An interesting point that should be made as a beleiver is that in Christ we are new creations. Clean slate. Things are reset to "zero" and we start over. Besides the obvious practical reasons why a naive interpretation of that would cause new believers to fall into a pretty sad state, it's important to note that struggle is required to obtain some things. As Casey Treat is so famously quoted and please feel free to insert his iconic voice "You must renew your mind!" So things don't just change over night. It's a process of renewing, somethings may go away over night but some things take a continual renewal through the Word of God.

Secondly, the problem of our future. No two people have the same future (unless you want to group people into marriage covenant, but even still their unique individuals). Each person has a destiny that is known only to God. It's difficult for us to try and measure people when we have no idea what to measure them with. Our callings and giftings all come out in different ways and different times. It's so important that we understand that.

Moses spent 30 years in the desert before he was able to act on his desire to free his people. Joshua waited an entire generation to claim the promised lane. Paul was over 30 before he was saved, then spent another 20+ years serving his local church before he went around writing 2 thirds of the new testament. Jeremiah was 18-19 when he started preaching to people twice his age. Jesus was running around at 13 telling people whats up. We don't have the luxury of choosing when or how our giftings will come in full. In fact I doubt we'll even realize it when it happens.

It's so easy for people especially us young adults to try to use comparison to determine where we should be at. What we should be doing or how we should be doing it. But if we focus on that we will forget to focus on the most important thing which is What Is God Doing In My Life Now? Our faithfulness isn't determined by some great thing we accomplish or how many people we "save" it's measured (and I think the bible clearly dictates so) by our faithfulness to what God has called us to do. In every little task. Every small word.

Fear

I am convinced that in my life, I think, that the most difficult thing about being a man, specifically a Christian man, is the fear. A terribly feeling that seems to attack us everywhere. At our home, in our workplace. On the stage and in the darkest depths of the night. It is present at every decision in our life. It fights heavily against every accomplishment. It is FEAR that has convinced me of the presence of God. You see because in every dark corner of our minds. Where fear triumphs. There is a still quite voice steadily whispering in our ears "Do not fear." It is here that I am introduced to the strongest quality in every man. Courage.

It makes me wonder, if maybe Father knew that we would be so afraid, that we would betray Him. So He whispered into our hearts the very tool to see us to the other side. Because where Fear persists God persists. Where fear attacks, God strengthens. In courage we find the very spirit of God ushering us along. What more could a man ask for than to have his Father forever fighting in his corner.

The Laborer Is Worthy Of His Wages

Pride, often in our lives is our downfall. We are unable to put it aside and accept the help of others, or we are unwilling to put it down for the sake of others. It alienates us from those we love and ourselves. It puts us in a position in which we can no longer be ourselves. We gain an unrelenting fear of failure because while in pride it is all we have.

Pride has been a reoccurring theme in my life, as it is with many people. It is something I struggle with on a daily basis. However, I have come to peace with my own imperfection and short comings, as they were all settled on the Cross with our Lord Jesus. Yet, I feel inadequate at times. I feel as though I am not doing enough, or that I am not doing the right thing.

My heart is and always will be for His kingdom. I strive each day to further it in whatever way I can and I submit and serve as best that I know how. However, I do not work. I have no job, except that I am employed by His kingdom.  I bring in not revenue and I save no money.

This is my inadequacy. I feel as though I should. I feel like I must work to obtain something, as though somehow if I could just get a job, if I could just gain something, that everything would be alright. I want desperately to work and gain, to show achievement, to show progress. What kind of man wouldn't want that? What kind of man would not want to provide and to give freely. And yet, in serving Him, I have found no cause for a Job. I am supported and taken care of. I am given to freely and blessed abundantly with friends and family who care so much for me.

Is it Pride or Righteousness that tugs at my heart to go out and obtain, to provide. That is a question only my heart and God can answer. Recently it has been an on going struggle to deal with this inadequacy. I have not known how to deal with it. Should I drop what I am doing and get a job? Is that Biblical and Righteous? Or is it Pride and selfishness? In this search, deep into my heart and in the spirit of God I came to a revelation. My Father, God lead me to Luke 10:7 "And remain in the same house, eating and drinking such things as they give, for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not go from house to house."

This is the answer that my Father gave to me and the same He gives to all His servants wherever their faith is. I am worthy of my wages because I serve a just and fair God. I serve a Loving and fatherly God. Thank you Lord, for your grace and spirit of revelation and comes upon me. You change me and humble me daily, you are my rock. You are my center, my everything. Amen.