Anchored Vessels

Like a buoy I have Anchored you along my great shores. With steel chains I have tethered you to many vessels. Each ship has gone its long journey. Each one full of holes and broken down. The moon rises and with it the tide. The ships fight to tread the water. As the light fades across the horizon the waters begin to storm. The great black pulls the ships into the void. The chains tense and pull upon your very core. Though calamity seems to consume you, one thing remains. I anchor you upon my shore. I will not let you go. With you I will pull from the depths of the black all the ships of the sea. With you, through me, they WILL tread the black.

Solitude, His Peace.

It is in the darkest hours of the night that I find peace. When everything and everyone else is covered in darkness it is easier to find Him. I feel as though I'm back in the Garden, walking in His presence. There is a peace and a wholeness when I am alone with just Him...

In life I find many struggles and difficulties, primarily in myself. There is turmoil and unrest in my soul. On one hand I rebel and fight the immense difficulty and expectations of my King. I disdain His presence and wish only to be free from what seems an unfair imprisonment.

On the other hand, I am His righteous servant. I give my life up for the His glorious will. I bow before His crown and see the justice of His being. I love His presence and I seek it constantly, I understands His expectations and I find them agreeable...

And so a civil war takes place in my soul. I am like the restless sea, constantly shifting and turning in the night... gaining and receding... the tide of my heart ever so changing.

I am both the Monster in the woods and the Knight whom slays him... when the black overwhelms me all of the struggle passes away and my soul finds peace, the King's presence demands peace. Both sides throw down arms and submit to His righteous decree, knees bowed they give over their struggle in the hope of true peace.

And so... in this night my heart is made still... through all the worry and all the pain I find His love breaks through to the sunrise. You see, when we are alone... that is when we find that the enemy we're fighting has always been ourselves.

Dear God

Father, all my wishes all my prayers rest in your word. All my hopes father rest on your promises. Without your guiding light I am lost, I am blind. I find myself Lord when I am not seeking you, falling away into my hopelessness. This life Lord is a constant pursuit of your goodness that seems to never end. My heart cries Lord for your spirit for your truth. My soul Lord craves your love. God, I need to hear you. I need to touch you. I seek you Lord. You are the object of my obsessions. My life pivots on your grace.

Lord there are times that I am alone and you feel so far away, death Lord would be better than that. Every time I fall every time I betray you my birth was vain. My life is forfeit. Every time Lord that I fall short of your plans and your intentions it would be better that I had never existed. My plans Father my intentions my strength my wisdom my knowledge it is all in vain! Nothing I could ever create or do could save me.

My cry Lord, is grace. Consume me Father, change me! Renew me! Break me down Father and build me back up. Rend from me the garments of poverty and pain, loosen the shackles of sin. I am yours. Restore to me father your garments of love, your ring of authority. Arm me God, with your sword and your shield. Guard me Lord I am so afraid. I am afraid that I will forget your grace for a second that I will forget the price you paid God. Jesus! How dare I forget your sacrifice, how dare I betray your cause. God do not allow me to live if I am no moved by your great love. Extinguisher this light if it ever strays from the cross.

I am yours oh God, your grace is sufficient your love is enough. Your presence satisfies my soul. Let me not grow weary in good doing. Let me not falter in your cause. protect me Lord. My refuge my guardian.