When I was around 8 or 9, I remember living out in Kalamath Falls, Oregon. My father and Grandmother purchase property out near a little town called Chiloquin. Due to some building codes and some rather shady business involving land locked property, my family was engaged in a legal battle to gain permits to build. There wasn't much going on around that little town and it wasn't easy to find a job. Things weren't going real well for my family.
A very specific night stands out in my memory. One I will never forget. It was late, we were staying in an old streamline trailer. My dad had converted it to wood heat with a large wood stove. He did all the cooking on it. Something I must admit, I took for granted. I've never had better cooking. I remember my dad being bent over the wood stove cooking chicken and rice. Two staples in my childhood diet. Once everything was done, my dad would always serve us kids first. That was a very strict rule, to this day I've never seen him break. I remember once while we were visiting at one of his girlfriends house, he was outside, and someone broke that rule. I don't remember much of what happened after that, except that person didn't eat that night and just sat real quiet for the rest of the night. So, my father served up each of my siblings I was last so when it came to my turn, I noticed something. After dishing up my plate, there wasn't anything left. That didn't sit right with me, so I asked my dad: "What are you going to eat dad?" His response broke my heart. "I'm not hungry." He replied.
All my life I have known one thing about my father, people can call him a great many things, but he was never a lazy man. He was honorably discharged in his twenties and spent the majority of his life working 12 hour shifts in lumber mills or machining factories. He was a hard worker. The idea that he wasn't hungry was a lie that he had no hope of convincing anyone of. However, my father was not about to deprive his children of a meal. In fact, my whole childhood, I never had to worry if I was going to eat. I sometimes wonder though, how many times he did.
What got me thinking about this story is an article I read about a police officer who went to investigate some stolen groceries only to find out that the groceries were stolen by a mother who wanted to bake a cake for her child's birthday.
Now, I never knew my father to steal, he worked hard to provide for his family. But I do recall times when despite his best effort, we ended up on some kind of government subsidy. Something my father did reluctantly. He has always been a very proud man, but his children have always come first.
What bothered me about the article were the comments directed at the mother. Accusing her of a number of things, not the least of which that she was probably a lazy welfare mom. Now, I'm not an expert but I've never known a lazy person to steal for anyone other than themselves. I've also never known a bad parent to care enough about their kid to work so hard to make a cake. I don't know the woman's situation and for all I know maybe shes not the best mom. But what I do know, is that when I read that article it broke my heart. It made me think of my father.
He gave the best years of his life, literally breaking his back to provide for his four children as a single father, and still couldn't do it on his own. And here is a mother who while maybe misguided at least cared enough about her child to want to get them a cake for their birthday. Without trying to romanticize the issue I gotta ask the question, why are we so quick to judge people who are down? Isn't that something we learn pretty young? That despite what the statistics may say, even if the majority of people act a certain way, shouldn't we be more empathetic towards people in these situations rather than cast judgement on them because we've never been there? You would think that we'd heard enough underdog stories to know that sometimes people just need a chance.
So to all the single parents out there struggling to make ends meet, from the heart of an eternally grateful son, don't let the world label you. Reach out for help. It's ok to lean on others when things get tough. Whatever you do, take care of those kids. You might be the only one who believes in them, encourage them, fight for them. The world will beat them down enough. They need you in their corner.
A very specific night stands out in my memory. One I will never forget. It was late, we were staying in an old streamline trailer. My dad had converted it to wood heat with a large wood stove. He did all the cooking on it. Something I must admit, I took for granted. I've never had better cooking. I remember my dad being bent over the wood stove cooking chicken and rice. Two staples in my childhood diet. Once everything was done, my dad would always serve us kids first. That was a very strict rule, to this day I've never seen him break. I remember once while we were visiting at one of his girlfriends house, he was outside, and someone broke that rule. I don't remember much of what happened after that, except that person didn't eat that night and just sat real quiet for the rest of the night. So, my father served up each of my siblings I was last so when it came to my turn, I noticed something. After dishing up my plate, there wasn't anything left. That didn't sit right with me, so I asked my dad: "What are you going to eat dad?" His response broke my heart. "I'm not hungry." He replied.
All my life I have known one thing about my father, people can call him a great many things, but he was never a lazy man. He was honorably discharged in his twenties and spent the majority of his life working 12 hour shifts in lumber mills or machining factories. He was a hard worker. The idea that he wasn't hungry was a lie that he had no hope of convincing anyone of. However, my father was not about to deprive his children of a meal. In fact, my whole childhood, I never had to worry if I was going to eat. I sometimes wonder though, how many times he did.
What got me thinking about this story is an article I read about a police officer who went to investigate some stolen groceries only to find out that the groceries were stolen by a mother who wanted to bake a cake for her child's birthday.Now, I never knew my father to steal, he worked hard to provide for his family. But I do recall times when despite his best effort, we ended up on some kind of government subsidy. Something my father did reluctantly. He has always been a very proud man, but his children have always come first.
He gave the best years of his life, literally breaking his back to provide for his four children as a single father, and still couldn't do it on his own. And here is a mother who while maybe misguided at least cared enough about her child to want to get them a cake for their birthday. Without trying to romanticize the issue I gotta ask the question, why are we so quick to judge people who are down? Isn't that something we learn pretty young? That despite what the statistics may say, even if the majority of people act a certain way, shouldn't we be more empathetic towards people in these situations rather than cast judgement on them because we've never been there? You would think that we'd heard enough underdog stories to know that sometimes people just need a chance.So to all the single parents out there struggling to make ends meet, from the heart of an eternally grateful son, don't let the world label you. Reach out for help. It's ok to lean on others when things get tough. Whatever you do, take care of those kids. You might be the only one who believes in them, encourage them, fight for them. The world will beat them down enough. They need you in their corner.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please leave a comment and follow my blog!