The myth of loving people

I have lived a pretty short life when I think about the years I've spent on this earth. Its odd to me though, to feel so old. My short twenty-three years have felt like fifty. As naive and unlearned that I still am, I have my moments where evidence of that age run through my face. Great suffering in my life has produced much perseverance. It has produced much character. Much understanding. Above all, much love. However, it has come with it's own cost. Apathy, insecurity, pride, and a jaded perspective.

I know what its like to feel helpless. I know what its like to feel weak. I've been beaten down, beaten up, stepped on, stepped over, and ran through. I've played the victim. I've played the bully. I know what its like to be the one stepping on. I've been the one to stand up for someone who no one else will. I've been the one who no one stands up for. I have seen a lot of hate. A lot of ignorance. Which is why it has been so easy for me to find love even in the most dark places.

Because my perspective has been broad, even though jaded, throughout my life I have been able to see a full picture. Love causes all other things to fall out of focus. Like the focal point of our world, everything else blurs around it. The bible so accurately describes it as a light on a hill. So very vivid and bright in contrast to the world apart from it.

I remember my senior year, I was trying to think of a quotation or saying or clever one liner to have engraved inside my senior ring. It didn't take me long to fall on 1 Corinthians 13:4:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

I wasn't a Christian. I had no interest in Christianity. This verse spoke so boldly in contrast of the world I had known for eighteen years. It didn't' just stand out from all other quotes, it stood apart. They couldn't be measured together. Love is patient. It is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. Man, that is all I have ever wanted to be. If there was one thing I have ever wanted to portray, it has been this. So desperately, that I eventually found myself at an alter praying there was a God out there who could truly be Love.

So when I hear people use the term "we just need to love people" my heart jumps in my throat and my eyes narrow. "WE JUST" what?! Do you even understand whats coming out of your mouth? "WE JUST" Nah. We MUST. We MUST need to love people. It makes me wonder what they think love is. "Just" hanging out with people? "Just" being their friend? "Just" letting bygones be bygones? "Just" "being there" for them? I'm sorry (not sorry), that is not love. That isn't even scratching the surface. That doesn't even make it into the same club as love. That's "like" that's "friendly" that's "being a decent human being". Love is so much more.

Love means speaking light into dark. Love means contrast. Love means conflict. I thank God that Christ first loved me, cause had He not given up everything and pursue my wretched soul with the full force of heaven, I wouldn't even know who He was. Had he not corrected me like a good father does, I wouldn't know what love is.

Love is what my friend Morgan Quinonez told me one after noon in history class when I told her I wasn't capable of believing in God and her responding, so broken:
"Then you'll burn."
Like... SHE BELIEVED IT. She believed it and responding IN LOVE to speak the truth. I know what you're think'n tho.
"But Tom, that isn't productive. That didn't sow any seed or help anyone."
That's crap. That made a hardened Atheist go from attacking her religion to questioning it.

Love is Timothy Durr one night while he watched one of his best friends weep from a broken heart in the dead of night say "The ones who straddle the fence end up dead."

Maybe that isn't relatable to you. Love is my Father. Who taught me that no matter what happened he would never let anything happen to me. I HAVE NEVER felt unsafe around my father. In fact I have never felt unsafe anywhere I knew he could get to fast. I was the kid in school who told people my dad would beat up their dad. 'Cause my dad would. You touched his babies and nothing on God's green earth would stop him from ending you. Ask Bell County Texas what happens when people mess with his kids. The felony alone should give you a clue.

Maybe you didn't have parents (looking at you Gleason). Love is my grandmother telling my my whole life that lying is the lowest thing a person can do. Creating in my such a fear of lies that I can't stand being around them. They make my stomach turn. Love is her speaking her life teaching me character even when I didn't want to learn it. Grandma, I couldn't be more grateful.

Love isn't some sweet feeling you get towards people. It isn't "being nice". Love is speaking truth, even it means you lose that friendship. Love is what's there when you offer wisdom and they reject it and come back a year later full of hurt. Love is unyielding. Circumstances don't change love. Talking to all you 13 year olds who think they're "in love" with Susie and next quarter ya'll done already "fallen out".

Love means that if you care for someone, you don't stop caring. Even when they choose to go someplace else, with someone else, you still look out for them. Love is Gabe Washburn answering the phone at absurd hours of the night to talk to hurting young men IN HIS OWN HURT.

Guys, love means dying for each other. I know I've said it again and again. Get it. Run with it. Dying to yourself means even though you're justified in hating them or abandoning them, you're still there for them. Love means that when they're crucifying you with their words, you're loving them with yours.

Love means when you make a mistake, no matter how great their offense may be, you own that mistake and show them that you care.

Stop believing this mythology about love. It isn't some cute motivational poster or retweetable meme. It is that unyielding desire to comfort, protect, correct, and edify despite the hurt. Love is speaking truth to the cross.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
John 15:13