Understanding sacrifice...

I've often wondered about the concept of sacrifice. It's kind of strange, isn't it?

Webster's dictionary defines sacrifice as:

1. an act of offering to a deity something precious; especially :  the killing of a victim on an altar
2. something offered in sacrifice
3. destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else
4. something given up or lost <the sacrifices made by parents>

Something given up. Something lost. It can't be returned. It can't be reacquired. It's gone.

In the church, we often sacrifice our time. Or creativity. Our minds. We give up our finances, we surrender our wills, we submit our choices. We give away something that we can't ever get back. We can't return time. We can't get back a choice once made. Sometimes I think we forget the significance of what we're really doing when we're setting up chairs for the next service. We forget the power we have every day. The choice.

Deuteronomy 30:15 says:

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction."

We sacrifice our will, our dreams, our ideas, our plans when we choose life. I don't think people really understand that when we choose to be false, to lie. To not be ourselves, we are literally choosing death. When we betray what we know to be true, not just about ourselves but about our God, we choose destruction.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've done that. I forget sometimes. I forget who I am, I look away from the mirror and suddenly I forget what I looked like (James 1:24). I don't just betray myself, as if that's not significant enough, I betray God's purpose and plan for me. I forget that who I am takes sacrifice. Sacrifice of what I THINK I should be. Sacrifice of not believing the lie. I forget that I have to lose that entirely. I have to give it up.

How else could we measure dedication?! How else could we show Him that we're submitted to Him? That we really love Him? Wait. Hold on, but is it sacrifice if we don't have a choice? Is it sacrifice if in order for us to have fellowship with Him, we have to first sacrifice ourselves? Sacrifice our choices, our thoughts, our bodies to Him? Isn't that the kicker though? He first gave. He first loved (1 John 4:19). We never entered into Christ through our sacrifice but through His.

How else would we measure love? How else would we really understand the depth of His love if not through sacrifice? And what greater love is there than to lay down one's life for another? (John 15:13)

It shakes me to the core. How shallow is my love? What weak is my sacrifice? It's so easy to give up things that are renewable. It's too easy. It's too easy to give up words. Compliments. Exaltation. Praise. Christ requires something deeper. Something from the core of a human being. He requires the heart. But it's a trade isn't it. His heart for ours. Our stony brittle broken hearts for his living beating flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

So then, what more could I give up? What more could I sacrifice? How much depth does my love really have? Search my heart. I think I kind of get what Paul meant when he said: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21).